Not the usual – by Brandon Faber
Posted on 25. Mar, 2010 by admin in Brandon Faber
Under normal circumstances I’d have a lot to say about a certain grocery store chain advertisement featuring the little girl from the prairie with the blonde ponytails, the bugs bunny “toof” and the swaying skirt of school girl innocence, telling us she wants to be like her dad because everyone loves him. . .
As do we all.
Personally I want to kiss my nearest grocer every time I see him shouting at his demoralised staff whilst prancing around in his short-sleeve collared shirt, flatly ignoring my well-directed remarks about the quality of the offerings in his meat section . . . just because it says “butchery” it doesn’t mean your in-house cuts have to look like something that’s just been introduced to the dark side of Freddy Kruger’s sense of humour, you know?
Alas, I don’t have time to further dissect old one “toof” and her fascination with the fact that dad’s job is to make sure bread rolls are served fresh and warm, and not a great service to humanity . . . but I don’t have time, or space.
Today I chuck 1 X lazy eye in the direction of Vodacom and I stand perplexed wondering where the hell things went wrong? How can the same guys that brought us the Yebo Gogo boys, Player 23 and a host of other killer summer ads featuring ladies with bouncing boobs bring us such monumental crap as their latest RICA offering? I ask you with tears in my bloodshot eyes. . . “bring back the boobs”. . . and if we can’t have that, “bring back the old guy and the idiot with the ponytail”.
What we are presented with is the perfect picture of the old South Africa in the shape of a white factory middle manager looking guy, shouting his face off at a bunch of black dudes, threatening to “make things as difficult as registering for RICA should. . . blah blah blah” You get the picture.
Just before Cosatu representatives storm through the doors, the Metal Workers Union goes on strike out of sympathy and a certain Youth League laaitie signs a deal to take over the factory’s contracts, a curly-haired dude with a drum bounces out from behind the crates, yelling like an Al-Qaeda operative waking up on April 1st with an American flag tattooed on his forehead.
I forget half of what he says but the point he’s trying to make is that it really easy for the government to find out exactly where we stay . . . or register for RICA, as it turns out.
Yeah. The ad’s saving grace is the part where our clown does this dance / rhyme thing: “do the jive”. Next to him is another guy / factory worker who dances with. I have never seen anyone with eyes like that. It’s funny yet creepy in the same way, like dealing with Citypower or phoning 10111.
Anyway, the bottom of the story is that we should go and register for RICA. . . Personally, as a contracted subscriber, I don’t see the point. Short of a blood sample and a lifestyle audit my service (sic) provider got everything it needed to allow them to overcharge me on a monthly basis and then take ages to refund said overcharged amount.
Either way we are getting nailed. What I don’t need is a kak ad to remind me of the fact, and ditto the “toof” girl. . . Next time I go to that shop I am going to dive tackle her dad into the Easter Egg display in a show of solidarity with normal South Africans who are just too gatvol to care anymore.
Perhaps I should run for government.
Read more about the author: Brandon Faber
