Missfits and morons – by Brandon Faber
Posted on 28. Jan, 2010 by admin in Brandon Faber
Apparently the Miss South Africa pageant was held in December last year.
Apparently a certain “Nicole Flint” is now the ambassador of the nation, or whatever title we give winners of this sort and, apparently, there are some concerns in lofty circles that she is, in fact, white.
Well klap me with a golf club and call me Tiger, you mean there are white South Africans?
I must say that I have always considered myself a brother of this land and I, too, find it absolutely unacceptable that a pale skinned brunette with great boobs and wonderful legs should win such a prestigious and meaningful title.
We all know where this leads.
Miss South Africa’s of pageants past have been known to influence local and foreign policy, establish peace in the most notorious of conflict zones, save millions from starvation and have always been the moral compass for the nation to follow when times were dark. . . OUTRAGEOUS that we should entrust such immeasurable responsibility and, frankly, the fate of the world as we know it, to a white chick – from Pretoria, or Tshwane (who cares as long as it works?) – nogals.
I find this injustice ranks right up there with Willie “die Breker” du Plessis winning the Summer 2009 Margate Mince pie Eating Championship and a foreign actress being chosen to play Winnie Mandela in a feature film that is bound to have as profound an effect on the box office as quiet diplomacy had on Uncle Bob.
Take heart though all ye upset souls, at least you are not a certain Mr. Daniel Roux, the boyfriend of the new queen of the country. Reportedly Nicole had stated that her title now comes first in her life . . . which is pretty kak news for Daniel who was probably looking forward to coming first for some time.
Be strong lad, we all have to make sacrifices.
Yours is to say goodbye to love, forever cursed to walk the planet alone, a broken soul with nothing but your memories and the promise that the pain will eventually subside (a few decades from now). For the rest of us it is having to contend with the dramatic impact a white Miss South Africa will have on the country in 2010.
Shares are bound to plummet, two suns will appear in the skies, crops will fail and tsunamis will wreak havoc along our coastline. The end of days is not 2012, 3013 or 4014, no. The age of anarchy has now surely arrived with this aberration – this, scandalous ascent to the national throne of beauty.
I don’t know about you but I am heading for the nearest cave to wait out the worst. Nicole is bound to appear in a string of powder puff advertisements flogging hair products and nail polish and I, for one, will not stick around to witness the horror of it all.
May you and your family survive this calamity called 2010 . . . May this not be the end.
Read more about the author: Brandon Faber
Apparently Nicole had dinner with the President last week….. word is he has space for one more lady in his life.
LOVE LOVE LOVE this commentary! what a profound insight this piece of knowledge this is. People who haven’t read this will have a definate ‘gat’ in their education!