Cooking up an Advertising storm – Brandon Faber

Posted on 27. Aug, 2010 by Graham in Brandon Faber

I’d like to create a television show called “Does it AD up?”

What we would do is take features, benefits etc. advertised and put it to the test. Sort of like MythBusters, only with more boozing involved.

I do of course realise that it would be nearly impossible to get any broadcaster to boldly go where no show has gone before, purely because it has the potential to name and shame advertisers who are talking absolute nonsense. Hence I will have to take this idea to the internet, with funding coming from the IDC or, more likely, my mother’s cookie jar.

Don’t you think it would be fun to see if you really could wash a zillion white plates with a bottle of Sunlight liquid, or if eating Bar One does turn you into a burning-house storming super-hero? Wouldn’t it be cool to prove that you can really sculpt perfect abs from the safety of your couch or that THAT herbal cream with extracts from a plant that can only be found in the shadows of Tibetan temples can increase the size of your breasts with daily application?

Personally I think that show (featuring the cream) would beat the opening game of the Soccer World Cup in terms of viewer ratings . . . or, at the very least, make a meal of South African Idols. By the way and pardon my digressing, but is it just me or does it seem that this Season has borrowed just about everything it can from the American version?

“I’m the next South African Idol!” yells one group of largely talentless cretins. “No! I’m the next South African Idol” yells another.  That is straight from the pens of enlightened script writers at Fox studios and that is also not the only example.

Last year’s host is also back, although in a lesser role it seems.

Who else thinks that this Liezel lady must be the daughter of someone really important?  Who else thinks that the only reason she is there again is because getting rid of her would be an admission of guilt from our friends at Multichoice? Who else thinks that we should have used one host only and, then, a comedian like John Vlismas, or that other Trevor dude – although I see he already has his own talk show and is the CEO (Customer Experience Officer) at Cell C?

I’m just saying that combining someone with a brain with a relatively brainless show should do wonders for a franchise that is in need of something, or someone, with a lot more flair.

Perhaps I could perform an experiment on a special edition of my proposed new show where we measure the average time it takes for a human being of decent intelligence, falling into the almighty LSM categories of 7 and above, to pick up their DSTV remote and change over from Idols Extra to watch Jamie Oliver boil an egg and cook a duck?

I bet it does not take long at all.

Anyway back to my show and the wonders it could prove, or disprove. Ten bucks say if I make a roast chicken for lunch (somehow managing to smear the walls and ceiling in the process) Mr. Muscle will not appear out of nowhere to clean my kitchen for me.

Hundred bucks say that Caltex’s “Techron” has no significant impact on my car’s engine.

Thousand bucks say I’d have to dip my hand in that cookie jar if this show’s ever to see the light of day.

Tags: Highlights