“It’s a mystery.” – Brandon Faber
Posted on 09. Dec, 2009 by admin in Brandon Faber
So the Mayans reckon we’ve got about three years left before we never have to see another dishwashing liquid ad. . . or read copy marketing luxury guesthouses – with riveting selling points such as, “our hand-picked staff will make sure you blah blah blah”.
Hand-picked staff hey?
What a novel idea. Here I was under the impression that a big bus rides around town, randomly dropping off hospitality industry employees that venues are obliged to use. Sounds like something the intellectuals at Cosatu would come up with. . . For most part however, hotels, guest houses and the like have to go the old-fashioned way and interview people for vacant positions.
Yup. All hail the random adjective – after 21 December 2012 we shall sadly hear of it no more.
Returning to those Inca Impies and their pot-fuelled predictions. I bet they never knew that getting bored with chiseling millennia worth of detail would culminate in block buster movies and over 34 million Google search results.
I bet if they saw the cult offshoots and nervous clambering by the feet of men who claim divine inspiration from Alien communication and / or messages from their future selves, living free from fear in some parallel universe where humanity is at one with each other, they’d have done the right thing and at least put a “To be continued…” at the end of it all.
“We are running out of leaves to smoke, finish this later, promise” would also have done the job.
Instead the hysteria is gathering momentum as we prepare for the Apocalypse, the end of days, the (apparent) re-entering of “Planet X” into our solar system that will see Jupiter “ignite” and become a second baby sun. According to 2012warning.com we should all be able to see two suns’ in the sky by no later than May 2011.
Well I, for one, say “bring it on”. An extra sun would certainly add a bit of excitement to getting stuck in mid-May morning traffic. Products like “Hotballs Sunscreen” will keep us from frying like Like It Lean bacon rinds on a Sunday morning and Barack Obama will tell everyone to remain calm, while the US prepares to move its most important souls to The Hilton “Underground”.
Here in Africa the ANCYL will blame apartheid for the two suns while the unions will threaten to mobolise and take to the streets if Planet X doesn’t immediate heed their calls to retreat to the cold darkness of outer space.
I can only imagine the madness as the time draws closer.
Unfortunately the world is full of souls with a home-shopper-mentality . . . hell, we do not need a mysterious planet to take us down, the pure idiocy of those who surround us is enough to destroy any civilization, given the opportunity.
Err. . .
I don’t know what’s going to happen and, frankly, I don’t care.
The true mysteries of this world comes not from the skies above, but from within. We find it in hand-picked hotel staff and “surprised” moms, truly impressed by the amount of foam some new dishwashing liquid makes. We find it in the choice of music used in Makro radio spots, in specials that are not really so “special” and in movies about our supposed demise.
We find it in our fascination with destruction and holiday death-tolls, in superficial presents and super-sensational scandals.
The year is gone. . . perhaps we only have three or so left. . . more likely, however, there’s a lot yet still to achieve and many more dreams to be realised.
Of course this also means that we’ve got many more years of award losing advertising ahead of us.
I can’t wait.
Read more about the author: Brandon Faber